


Comfortable Silence is so Overrated

by AliciasClarke (fyeahgila)



Series: Musical AU [2]
Category: The Rolling Stones
Genre: Drinking & Talking, First Meetings, Heartache, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 15:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18759076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyeahgila/pseuds/AliciasClarke
Summary: Prequel to "When the Curtain Falls".At the after show party of their latest musical, Mick ditches Ronnie to go chat up some pretty girl. Before Ronnie can go home all hurt and defeated, a charming musician with an amazingly infectious laugh appears at his side, making him feel less miserable and less lonely...





	Comfortable Silence is so Overrated

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> Here's something new from me...I've written this story over a month ago but then some shit went down irl and I didn't get around to posting it...I really hope that soon I'll have more time for writing again, but let's see how this will turn out...hope you enjoy that one! 
> 
> The work title is a line of the song "From the Dining Table" by Harry Styles

Events like these once always used to be a lot of fun. Going to a party with all the people involved in the musical the night it was closing, after they stepped off the stage for the last time. Ronnie used to love mingling with his colleagues and friends, having the one or other drink, meeting some new people, getting to dance with Mick. Now, going to any of these parties hadn't been great anymore in the past months, though. Not since Mick had come up with this idiotic and absolutely frustrating idea of them leading an open relationship. Because the only one taking advantage of this was Mick. He finally could screw around as much as he wanted without it being considered cheating. Ronnie never should have agreed to it, but he thought maybe, just maybe, if Mick got what he wanted, they could be happier again together. But it only had gotten worse. 

Usually, at social gatherings Mick would play pretend, showing everybody that they still were doing great. Sometimes it lead Ronnie to believe that things were going to be alright again. That Mick actually meant it this time and wouldn't outright ignore him again once they left a party. This night, he couldn't even be bothered to hang around Ronnie the whole time. They'd had a drink, danced for a while, talked to some of their colleagues, who didn't notice anything odd about them. Some of them even were gushing about how amazingly perfect Mick and him always were. By now nothing had been perfect anymore in a long time and it all was just a façade. And Ronnie honestly had no clue why he was still holding on, why he kept hoping instead of just breaking up with Mick. 

Mick had been eyeing some brunette woman over at one of the bars for the past half an hour and Ronnie was getting so annoyed by it that he almost told him to finally go over there. But he didn't say a word because he didn't want to fight now, didn't want to cause a scene. Even though maybe it would be a good occasion to finally break up with Mick, show everyone who knew them that they were long done. But he didn't have the guts to do so, didn’t want to do this to Mick in front of all of these people. Because truth was, even though he made him feel miserable a lot of the time by now, they used to be great together. And they still could have amazing and wonderful times, where it all was like it used to be. Where Mick was sweet and charming and only had eyes for him. Where they couldn’t stop smiling at each other and flirting and where Mick treated him with respect and adoration. 

Even though these moments were rare by now, it was so hard letting go of this, letting go of Mick. Because even despite being hurt by him dozens of times, a part of Ronnie still loved him and hoped that things could change. That Mick would eventually get enough of chatting up other people and that he'd be there for Ronnie again. This was the worst feeling of them all. He'd forgiven Mick so much, he'd forgiven him outrightly cheating on him, walking in on some other guy fucking Mick in their bedroom. The thing toughest to forgive him, though, the thing bugging him the most, was that Mick was making him feel like he wasn’t enough. That while for Ronnie, Mick was all he wanted and needed, Mick himself couldn’t get by with just Ronnie. It was hurting so much and also this evening, when Mick finally decided to go over to chat up that girl, Ronnie once again was left gutted. 

He watched Mick walking off, feeling bitter and heartbroken and if he hadn't been at the after show party of their latest musical, he probably would have started crying out of sheer desperation. It was insane torturing himself like this, loving Mick was madness. Every person in their right mind would have left long ago, knowing that Mick probably would never change. So why couldn't Ronnie finally end this toxic relationship, end his suffering? 

Pissed off by himself, he drowned the rest of his drink, looking around, trying to decide whether to go find some people he liked, start talking to them, or whether to just go home. Since he felt quite miserable, he set his mind on leaving, but just as he put his glass down, someone approached him. It was one of the musicians from their live band, Ronnie had seen him around often enough to recognise him. They'd exchanged a couple of words before, but since he mostly stuck with the other actors, he’d never really hung out with him. He was one of the guitar players, but Ronnie didn't remember his name. 

“Hey there”, the man said, giving him an uplifting smile that was hard not to return, even though Ronnie felt like crying. He wasn't dressed impeccably, wasn't wearing a suit like most of the other guys around. A skinny jeans and a black blazer over a worn-out shirt had to do, but Ronnie thought it was oddly refreshing. 

“I was just leaving…”, he explained, because actually he just wanted to go home and maybe watch some TV until he could fall asleep. 

“Already bored?”, the other man inquired with a lopsided grin on his lips. 

“Just not in the mood…”, he shrugged. 

“Ronnie, right?”, he asked him and Ronnie just nodded in reply. 

“I'm Keith”, the guitar player meant, offering him his hand to shake and Ronnie took it because he didn't want to be rude. “Care to join me for another drink maybe?”, Keith wanted to know then, smiling lightly. “You look like you could need one.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”, Ronnie gave back, somewhat irritated. “You think I'm no fun and need to loosen up?” He honestly wasn’t quite sure what Keith wanted from him, but he still seemed nice enough. His comment had rather been of a joking mature, not intended to sound mean. 

“Hey, that's what you said, mate”, Keith laughed now and surprisingly, it made Ronnie chuckle as well. His laugh was a raspy cackle, incredibly infectious and endearing. 

“I don't think I'm great company tonight”, he sighed, running a hand through his hair somewhat coyly. 

“Why's that?”

"Uh...just some stuff on my mind”, Ronnie said evasively because the last thing he wanted right now was to spill out to someone he didn't even know properly how his relationship wasn't oh-so-perfect after all. 

“Well, that's even more reason to get another drink. Let me buy you one”, Keith suggested, again with that smile on his lips and Ronnie had to admit that it made him look quite charming. 

“You don't have to…”, he tried to decline, because he could buy his own drink if he wanted to. But he didn't even know whether he actually still wanted to stay, even if Keith really seemed alright. Although probably it was a good idea just hanging out with him for a while, maybe it would distract him from Mick. 

“But I’d like to. Come on, don't leave me hanging here”, the guitar player meant, nudging his arm and the way he was looking at him made Ronnie grin. 

“Don't you have anyone else to chat up?”, he wanted to know, jokingly. 

“You think I'm chatting you up?”, Keith replied in faked cluelessness. 

“Maybe. You tell me”, Ronnie answered, while Keith just smirked unfathomably and then winked at him. 

“So...is this a yes then?”, Keith inquired, still smirking at him and it made Ronnie laugh. 

“Fine, but just one”, he eventually agreed and the smile Keith gave him in return was almost dazzling and made his heart feel somewhat lighter. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing staying there for another while. 

They went over to one of the bars, not the one Mick had disappeared to, and Ronnie told Keith to just order whatever he was having. It turned out to be whiskey on the rocks and once they got their glasses, they took them and Keith led him to a place in the club where there still were some unoccupied leather couches. 

“Are you okay?”, Keith wanted to know as they'd sat down on one of the red couches, looking at him carefully. 

“Why would you think that I'm not?”, he asked, quite stunned. He hadn't assessed Keith to be this observing and even less did he expect the somewhat concerned tone in his voice. 

“You seem brooding…”, Keith returned with a shrug. “You don't have to talk about it”, he added quickly as Ronnie shot him a questioning look. 

“Yeah...I prefer not to”, he mumbled, sipping on his whiskey. 

“It's alright”, the other one agreed. “Where’s your other half hiding out?”, he tried a lighter tone, but it was the exact topic Ronnie didn't want to mention. 

“No clue...”, he just shrugged, taking another sip from his drink. Why did Keith have to talk about the one thing he was trying to avoid? 

“I think you should have played Damien”, Keith said then, out of the blue and surprised Ronnie anew. 

“You think?”, he asked a bit astounded. It was Mick's role, Ronnie just had played his brother. 

“Yeah, it would have suited you quite well”, Keith meant sincerely. 

“Didn't you like Mick's performance?”, he inquired, because he honestly hadn’t even thought about anyone else than Mick playing this role. 

“I did, he's great...I just think you could have pulled it off as well, you'd have been brilliant”, Keith admitted and gave him a light smile. 

“Thanks. Maybe you should tell Dan or whoever will direct the next show to maybe consider me then”, he grinned in return. 

“I mean it, Ronnie, you've got the talent to play the lead”, Keith said with an honest look in his eyes and he could actually feel himself blushing. It was really nice to heat that someone he didn't even know that well thought he could pull off a greatly demanding leading role like this. 

“For how long have you been with the company?”, Ronnie asked him next. 

“You were already there when I started...guess about two years by now”, Keith reflected, sipping on his whiskey. 

“Odd, we never really got to talk before”, Ronnie mused. 

“Not really...you guys are always hanging out together...and we musicians also stick with each other most of the time. It's just the way it is”, Keith chuckled and he nodded in agreement. 

“Maybe we should change that”, Ronnie supposed. 

“Don't we already right now?”, Keith asked with a smirk. 

“I guess so...what did get you into playing for a musical band?”, Ronnie wanted to know because by now he quite liked leading this conversation with Keith. He seemed smart and pretty interesting, and he certainly was quite handsome and charming as well, but most of all, he managed to make Ronnie laugh and feel better about himself. 

“Luck...a hell of a lot of luck”, he replied with a light laugh, but Ronnie had the feeling he actually meant what he said. 

“How's that?”, he kept on asking.

“Uh...I used to be a street musician, you know, hanging around, just barely scraping by...One day some guy stopped and watched me play for a while. Then he offered me the sandwich he'd just bought and his business card, telling me to give him a call if I was looking for a proper job”, Keith told him and Ronnie was listening to him almost fascinated. It was endearing to hear Keith talk like that, because it felt so captivating and real as if he'd been there himself. 

“Who was he?”

“Charlie Watts”, Keith simply gave back, grinning mischievously. 

“No way, Charlie picked you off of the streets?”, Ronnie nearly yelled, quite impressed that the director of their company himself had basically discovered Keith and his talent. 

“He said he was inspired by my style”, Keith chuckled, almost sounding somewhat embarrassed. 

“So, what happened, you just called him and got the job?”, Ronnie asked further because he was actually interested to know more about it. 

“I was totally freaked out...obviously all the details were printed on the business card and I couldn't believe someone just offered me a job at Broadway...like when does that happen? Only in the movies…”, he trailed off with a little chuckle. 

“...took me a couple days til I finally had enough guts to call him...Charlie told me to come by and play something, they were looking for some new musicians anway. I guess they must have liked it, cause otherwise I wouldn't be here right now”, Keith closed his story and grinned at him widely. 

“That's one hell of a story”, Ronnie commented. “I can't offer anything as entertaining as that”, he smirked. 

“Why, what did get you into musical?”, Keith wanted to know. 

“I just wanted something a little different from theatre for a change...I mostly played theatre before, in London”, he explained, twisting his whiskey glass between his hands. 

“You're from London? Me too!”

“I almost guessed so from your accent”, Ronnie laughed. “I mean I knew you were a Brit, too, but I didn't think that all the boys from London came over here to work at Broadway when we’ve got the West End ourselves”, he chuckled. 

“Why, who else is from London?”, Keith wanted to know then. 

“Uh...Mick is…”, he meant, not really getting further into it. 

“So you just applied here?”, Keith kept on asking and Ronnie was glad he'd directed the conversation away from Mick for now. 

“Well, at first I applied at some theatres here...but it was tough...then I met some people talking about trying out for musicals and I thought, why the hell not. Next thing I knew, I was at a casting for the role of a supporting act. They were impressed enough to call me back and invited me to read lines and sing with Mick...well...and then everything else happened”, he recalled while Keith listened to him curiously. 

“I never got to see that first show you did...but I remember everyone and their grandma talking about it, it was revolutionary”, Keith mentioned with a grin. 

“There are some recordings, if you're interested in watching it?”

“Nah, I don't watch that stuff on tapes”, Keith declined. “It's just not the same”, he added and Ronnie had to nod in agreement. “Did you rewatch your own performance?”, Keith asked then, smirking at him. 

“No, not me...I cannot stand seeing myself on tape, it's just odd...Mick...he's a perfectionist. Sometimes he watches these things just to, you know, figure out if he could do something more or better the next time...whatever…”, he trailed off, not really in the mood to talk about Mick right now.

“I saw him all touchy-feely with some girl earlier...”, Keith said, he sounded uncertain. 

“Who?”, Ronnie meant as though he didn't know, cursing himself for mentioning Mick and giving Keith an invitation to talk about him. 

“Mick...look, it’s none of my business…”, Keith started, but Ronnie disrupted him. 

“You're right, it's none of your business”, he meant, sounding more pissed than intended. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry”, the guitar player apologised right away, lifting up his hands in an appeasing gesture. 

“Maybe I should go home”, Ronnie returned. Up until just now things had been fine again. He'd actually quite enjoyed chatting to Keith, it was almost disappointing that their conversation had to take that direction and end like this. Ronnie wouldn't have minded staying for another while with Keith, maybe just listening to what he had to tell. 

“Can I accompany you?”, Keith asked and completely startled him. 

“What?”, he asked back, staring at him incredulously. Did he just ask him to come home with him? Or did he just misunderstand? 

“No, I...I didn't mean that...I just...you know...maybe go for a walk, get some fresh air, have a smoke...can I take you home?”, Keith clarified, stuttering. “And then...go home myself, I mean”, he added, a little embarrassed. 

“Fine”, Ronnie sighed eventually and drowned the rest of the whiskey before getting up. Truth was, he thought Keith was great company. And as long as they didn't talk about Mick, it all had been nice and enjoyable. Even if they'd just walk in silence, having a smoke, it still would be better than going home alone, because at least Keith’s presence made him feel less miserable.

After they’d retrieved their coats, they went on their walk through nighttime New York, but obviously it still was quite busy, even at 1:30am. It wasn't called the city that never sleeps for no reason. Nevertheless, for Ronnie, New York always had something calming by night. There were considerably less people roaming the streets and also the traffic wasn't as loud as during the day. All the bright lights and neon signs were bathing the well-known areas into a whole other light, making them seem so differently from how they looked at daytime. 

“You didn't have to come with me”, Ronnie meant after a while, dragging on the cigarette that Keith had offered him, as they were walking along the Hudson River towards one of the next metro stations. 

“But I wanted to”, Keith replied. “Needed some fresh air too.” 

“Didn't you come to the party with Abby?”, Ronnie asked then, remembering seeing Keith dancing with the costume designer earlier that evening. 

“Yeah, so?”, Keith wanted to know with a cheeky grin, lifting an eyebrow in question. 

“I thought you guys were dating or something…”, he explained, because some time ago, Abby had mentioned it when he was talking to her about fitting his stage outfits. 

“No...I mean...we were for a while. But we're just friends now”, Keith meant, naturally, shrugging as if it wasn't even such a big deal. 

“You can be friends with your ex still?”, it broke out of Ronnie, because so far he'd never managed that. Even if he'd wanted to. But in the end it had always turned out differently than hoped for or anticipated. He didn't even want to think about what he and Mick would be like then, if he finally found the courage to break up with him. Because some part of him still felt that he couldn't live without him in his life. And also they'd see each other at work a lot. 

“Well...she found someone else...someone she loved more than me. I had to accept that and let her go, but we started talking again a while ago. It's alright now, we're fine like that”, Keith told him, taking a drag from his cigarette. 

“I think it's admirable”, he commented, flipping the cig away and stuffing his hands into his coat pockets. 

“I think it's the only right thing to do, otherwise you won't really be happy, neither of you. You can't just stay with someone whom you don't love like they do without making them feel like crap...and you shouldn't stay with someone who makes you feel bad”, Keith mused and his words hit Ronnie hard. He couldn't even begin to tell how true this was, how much he wished he could just adopt Keith's view and finally leave Mick. His words had touched him so much, that he could actually feel tears welling up in his eyes, disappointed about himself for being such a coward, and angry at Mick for putting him into this position. For making him love him even though he made him feel interchangeable and just not enough. 

“Are you crying?”, Keith quietly asked after a moment, as Ronnie tried to brush his tears away. 

“It's nothing…”, he meant, sniffling, but Keith was quick to offer him a tissue that he thankfully accepted. 

“I'm sorry for prying again, but it's...it’s quite obvious that you're not happy with him anymore, are you?”, Keith said, carefully looking at him as they'd come to a stop near the next metro station. 

“Is it that obvious?”, he wanted to know with a laugh that sounded like a sob, before blowing his nose. 

“I saw you earlier...and when I came to talk to you…”, Keith started, but Ronnie interjected. 

“Why did you come over at all?”

“You seemed a little lost...”, Keith admitted, biting his lip and Ronnie let out a long sigh, fumbling out his own pack of cigarettes and lighting one. Only after he took a long drag, he replied. 

“He's screwing around all the time…”

“Why don't you leave him then?”, Keith wanted to know. 

“Cause I still somehow love him…”, he admitted, almost ashamed of himself. 

“Does he realise he's hurting you and that you're not happy anymore?”, Keith questioned and Ronnie wondered for a moment why he was asking him all of that. On one hand, it felt kind of intruding, it wasn't any of Keith's business asking any of this after all. On the other hand, nobody had made him say all of this out aloud before. Nobody had noticed or cared so far. He wasn't sure whether Mick and him were just that good at acting, it was their job after all, or whether everyone around them had been too self-absorbed and careless to say anything about it. In a way, it felt relieving finally getting to talk about everything that he'd kept bottled up for months. And the fact that he didn't know Keith that well probably made it easier for the both of them. 

“I don't know...most of the time I think he's too busy with everything else to notice…”, he answered eventually. 

“But it's not all bad all the time?”, Keith inquired as they eventually continued walking towards the metro station. 

“No...he...he can be really sweet. I just...I just want it to be like it used to be, you know…”, Ronnie returned and it sounded almost desperate. Keith only nodded in understanding as they were waiting by the platform for the train to roll in. 

“Has it been going like this for long?”

“I don't know...a couple months…”, he shrugged, just as the train arrived and they stepped onto a carriage. There weren't that many people around at that time and so they could actually take a seat. 

“Have you tried talking to him?”, Keith suggested then. 

“Yeah, sure...I mean we're doing that thing now since a while...having an open relationship. But basically it just means he can do whatever he wants…”, he gave back with a sigh, running a hand over his face. It was frustrating and exhausting and he couldn't even tell why he still kept hoping. 

“And you?”

“I don't care about that stuff...if I'm with somebody...I just want them, not anybody else…”, Ronnie meant, looking over at Keith who was sitting opposite him and gave him an understanding little nod. 

“But he doesn't get it”, it wasn't a question now, rather an observation. 

“I don't think he does…”, he returned, sighing once more. Probably he really should get to terms with the fact that he finally had to leave Mick. Otherwise it would just go on like this and he'd feel more and more miserable. 

“Did you consider breaking up with him yet?”, Keith prompted. 

“Yeah...a lot recently…it's just tough...”

“I know...but you don't deserve this, Ronnie. The way he's treating you...you deserve to be happy”, Keith told him in an honest voice, holding his gaze until Ronnie had to break away because he felt new tears stinging in his eyes. 

“You think?”, he got out, his voice sounding tear-stained. 

“Why, of course. You're a good guy...you're talented and kind and funny…”, Keith said sincerely, leaning over to gently press Ronnie's knee. 

“Thanks…I...I gotta get off the next station. God...I haven't even asked where you're headed. Are you taking a detour because of me?”, he started rambling then, feeling quite embarrassed about his behaviour. 

“No, not really...and it's alright, I don't care. I said I'm taking you home, right?”, Keith gave him a smile and Ronnie actually managed to return it. 

“So, where are you headed?”, Ronnie wanted to know then as they left the station on 96th street, and Keith chuckled lightly. 

“Don't worry...it's just two more stations”, he grinned. 

“So you're living close”, Ronnie observed.

“It's on 109th street”, Keith revealed, winking at him. 

They eventually reached the Brownstone building where Ronnie was sharing a flat with Mick and Keith walked him up the front stairs to the front door. 

“I'm sorry for...just crying and probably being a pain in the neck with all of my stuff…”, he started, but Keith didn't want to hear any of it. 

“It's fine, really...you needed somebody to talk. We all do sometimes.”

“Still, thanks...for listening...and for taking me home”, Ronnie answered with a smile. 

“Don't mention it. And you aren't that bad company, by the way”, he said with a grin and made Ronnie laugh a bit. 

“So...I guess we'll see each other around at work”, he meant needlessly. Of course they'd see each other there. 

“Sure...or...do you maybe wanna grab a drink with me sometime soon?”, Keith asked and if Ronnie wasn’t mistaken, he actually sounded a little nervous. 

“Cause you think I need one?”, he gave back with a grin, reminding him of earlier and Keith started laughing. 

“Just...if you wanna talk or so, you know”, he said, his wide grin turning into a sweet smile. 

“Okay, yeah why not”, Ronnie agreed and mirrored Keith's smile. 

“Just let me know then...I guess we'll see each other on Monday”, Keith gave back, shifting on his feet, ready to leave. 

“Yeah...get home safely, Keith”, Ronnie said and then just wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into an embrace that Keith returned, hugging him tightly.

“Goodnight, Ronnie”, he whispered, smiling softly and lifting his hand in goodbye, before turning around and Ronnie watched him jump down the stairs, disappearing into the night.


End file.
